Meet Melva: The Real-Life Story of a Project Avary Youth

Melva’s Story…

I still have vivid memories of the police coming into my home and taking my dad away. I was only 8 years old, and it was the first of several times this would happen.

Each time was an out-of-body experience filled with fear and uncertainty, and it’s a lot for a young kid to handle — especially when the people in your life pretend like it never happened. My mom tried to protect me by telling me that my dad was at work, but deep down I knew something bigger was at play.
 

When I finally discovered the truth, I had to be quiet about it. I had to act as if nothing happened, because my family told me that I would be judged and treated differently if anyone ever found out. The silence and fear made me totally withdraw. It kept me from connecting with people, because I was always afraid they would unveil this forbidden secret I was carrying. It was a very dark time in my life. I was all alone. I had no one.

Fast forward a few years later…
 

I was having a lot of trouble in school and was engaging in some pretty destructive behaviors. My school counselor told me about Project Avary, just as Avary was setting up a program for kids like me inside my school. I thought there was a catch. Like, “what do I have to do for it?” “How much is it going to cost? My family can’t afford this.” “No one is going to care about me there. I’m just one of the ‘bad kids.’” I decided to give it a try anyway.

I was super nervous before the first session, and it took me a while to warm up. I was hesitant to even participate, but after awhile everything made sense.

I finally understood that all my “bad” behavior was just a cry for help. I was a hurt kid who went through a really traumatic experience, and I never had anyone to tell me that I was going to be OK and that I mattered. I couldn’t hold back my tears any longer. I cried in everyones’ arms and I felt safe and connected in a way I had never felt before.

“Community is the biggest combatant of shame. When you surround yourself with loving people, they show you what you’re capable of, not who or what you shouldn’t be.”

-Melva, age 15
 

I can truly say that I didn’t know who I was before Avary. I was lost. I spent my whole life trying to be good enough, and Avary taught me that I am already good. Young people are often shut down, not listened to and judged so harshly. Project Avary not only listened to me, they gave me my voice. And they didn’t just give me my voice, they told me that my story matters.

Now, I’m beginning my journey as an Avary Leader. I was recently promoted to Junior Counselor and just finished my first retreat in this role. When I found out that I was getting promoted, I jumped up and down with excitement. This is something I’ve dreamed of becoming ever since I started at Avary. I remember when the older kids were promoted to JC, and I always thought, “I want to be just like that”. I want to give the younger kids hope and make them feel welcome. I know it can make the biggest difference in someone’s life, just as it did mine, and I take this responsibility seriously. I’m so proud of myself!

Project Avary is more than just a summer camp, it’s a lifeline. I’ll shout it from the rooftops until I’m old and gray–Project Avary saved my life!